As is natural with most humans, I fell off the wagon in my writing habits and I need to drag myself back up and get my ass back in gear. Of course, to realize how crappy I have been doing, I needed my world to come crashing down around me and my stress levels to raise to unholy levels for me to stop and assess the madness that surrounds me. 

A couple of things to note. Number one, I am a parent and sometimes raising a toddler, working full time, and being married to another adult human is VERY STRESSFUL. On top of that, trying to find personal time or project time is also very hard. Number two, I am a human and I am full of times where I make mistakes and let the wrong balls drop. This is to say, we all juggle lots of responsibilities in life and always try to keep the important ones afloat and I have missed some lately. 

I have a new job at work and this is adding to my stress as well as today the whole world closed in on me as my small human, who takes almost entirely after me, decided that they would spend the entire day pushing buttons on both adults. Nap time was debated then refused. Normal tactics that have recently worked wonder all flopped. And at some point, I just shut down. I closed a door and I locked myself into my room and stayed there. Then I got a message from my partner, who had done the same on the other side of the house. 

We had hit a point where this small version of me had broken us both simultaneously and we were in trouble. I reached out for help to my sister in law. Bless her fantastic soul, she talked us down and then told us to take the small human outside and let them run wild while one of us packed a go bag and she was on her way to pick up the small me. Small me got excited and left with ZERO FIGHT. 

What is the lesson today? Stop. When life seems to be tossing you fire and lightning and your whole world is ablaze and scary, just stop. Look around and reach out for help. Thankfully, my world just needed another parent in my world to come and take my small human away for the night so we could take a deep breath and all three of us calm down and try again tomorrow. We spent two and a half years never taking a day off and never letting our human out of our sights outside of daycare hours. We are finally taking the help of others and it is a blessing to have help. 

If you need other types of help, mental, physical, whatever it is. Look around you. Maybe you have a supportive family member or friend that can help, maybe you can go online and find a free or cheap service in your area to help you out if you need some professional guidance. Whatever it is making your world seem like you are at war with yourself, stop and take a moment to send out an S.O.S. You are fantastic and you are worth helping.