I think one of the most difficult questions to answer is when people ask me what I write about after telling them I write. You would think it would be it would be easy given I have a manuscript I am editing, one I put on the side to be fully re-written from the ground up, as well as several more ideas waiting patiently. I have new ideas and for characters, plots, scenes, settings, and more every day. So, why is this so hard to answer?

It’s difficult because once you tell people you write about assassins, villains, and the shit that goes bump in the night… well, people worry about you. People start to worry if you are safe to be around. The responses range from wide eyes, raised eyebrows, to not fully sure they heard me right. Of the people I give the real answer, more ask then don’t about the details. Very few want to get into the good details. But when people do, I get really excited.

These conversations sometimes start with them asking me about my hobbies or things I enjoy doing in my free time. Other times, this topic comes up as a result of me making the joke about my Internet search history being pretty dark and questionable. For the hobbies question, I think I already went over that here on the blog at one point. But people tend to focus on my video game hobby over my writing. When it comes to my search history, it often comes down to comparing worst things we have each searched. When I give some examples, then people obviously want to know what they just compared themselves against.

But for the ones who get worried, I tend to dance delicately around the conversation. Writing about the topics I choose aren’t for everyone. No writer hits on a topic everyone will enjoy. If any writer did, so many would flock to that. There’s no fun in that. I choose what I write because I WANT to write what I write. I write what I wish I had more of on my bookshelf. I can usually gauge fairly easily who I need to provide the answer “fiction that edges on dark fantasy” versus “stories about assassins, villains, and all the nightmares I can channel.”

When I do get it wrong and someone worries about the darkness of my writing, I do sometimes have to explain that I am okay. It’s weird to me that some people think there must be something wrong if you write about the dark side of humanity, but it happens quite a bit. So how do I handle the darkness and the questions I get about it? This part depends on the person. As someone who intimately has seen the dark side of humanity first hand, I know darkness well. I am typically more intrigued by the things people don’t notice and that is usually the darker side of the people around them. Most people want to see the good in others. I want to see it as well, but I will never forget to look deeper.

Isn’t that depressing? Yes and no. Again, depends on how you handle the darkness in most people’s hearts. Unfortunately, once you have been struck by hidden darkness, you start checking every dark spot around you and keeping an eye out for it in others. Some people never show their dark side, but most will give you a glimmer in the heat of a moment. I don’t think all people are bad, I just know we all have it in us to have a dark side. It’s this darkness that inspires me.